Archive for October, 2009

My daughter looks like she found a colony of Smurfs and devoured each and every one. Amanda ate a crayon. A blue triangle Crayola crayon. What is a three year old doing with a writing utensil unsupervised, you may ask? Good question. I didn’t know she had it until it was too late. It’s a short story but I’ll make it long because Mandy’s having a screaming hissy in time out and I have a little time to kill.

Mandy had recieved a two pack of Crayola Washable Triangular Crayons for a last day of the school year gift at preschool. I was excited, I love to color. I even took coloring books and crayons with me when I had to be induced with Cytotec over two days and again when I actually went into labor with both Kieran and Perry. So, right after lunch I broke out the rest of the crayons and some paper and we got down to business. As usual Kieran and Mandy tried to eat the crayons within a couple minutes. Kieran had a couple fleck on his teeth, nothing new. Mandy on the other hand, had orange smeared on her face and hands. wait a sec, we don’t even own finger paints. Where did this come from? That’s when I realized the crayon was melting. I took both new crayons away and put them on the cuonter to attend to another crisis.

Now I know I should have thrown them out right then and there. I had every intention of doing so. I got distracted and forgot about them completely. I was quickly remind of them when I caught Kieran running down the hall with one in his hand a blue streak across his chest. He was so proud of himself. I took the offending crayon away and put it on top of his dresser when I heard shrieks for the potty coming from another room. I learned real fast that you do not ignore cries for the potty. once again I forgot about the wicked crayon of the west. It sat on top of kierans dresser, more than 4 and a half feet in the air, for several weeks.

I walked past it 5 or 6 times a day, minimum. Did I move it? No. I saw it and thought that I should throw it out but never got to it. Like I said I’m easily distracted and was probably trying to stay on task. I was also working under the assumption that neither child could reach it with out assistance. There is nothing to climb on to reach the top of the dresser so the crayon was safe. Ha, Ha! The jokes on me!

Today Mandy locked herself in her brothers room. There is nothing that can hurt her so I let her stay in there while I took out the garbage and threw some cloths in the dryer. I come back, open the door and find a smiling, Smurf eating monster. I stood there in shock with my moth hanging open as I surveyed the blue smeary lumps on Kierans floor, rug, the kids cowboy hat and Mandy. She had and blue ear to ear grin with blue dripping from either side. Time out was instituted and screaming ensued.

The screaming continued while Mandy wiped the crayon of her face with her blankets and until she fell asleep. I guess it’s nap time. Now I get to find out if that stuff really does wash out.


Posted: Friday, October 16, 2009 in Uncategorized

The snow looks so pretty tonight. It’s all sparkly and sticking to the trees just like a Christmas card. You know the cards I’m talking about. The ones they put glitter on to make the snow look better than it really does. Now take that Christmas card and shove it in your pocket until December.
It’s not even Halloween yet and the flakes are flying. Does anyone realize what this means? Heating bills are going up sooner? absolutely. The winter clothes you just painstakingly packed away have to come out? Yepper. A longer cold and flu season? Does it ever really end?
None of this bothers more that what I will be forced to do for the sake of my children. This year we will be forced to trick or treat at ………the mall. Oh, how it horrifies me. It feels so wrong, so commercial, so Soccer Mom. Granted, I do have daydreams of Suburbia but not that bad.
There are no decorated houses, no friendly neighbors, very few homemade costumes, no leaves to kick in and no houses with full size candy bars or unattended bowls of sugary delight. There is no good candy at all in fact, just Tootsie Roll knock offs that my kids can’t have and even I won’t touch. The thought of that crummy candy causes obscene behavior in the children parading around in their store bought best.
We took Mandy to the mall for her first time out at almost 18 months. I thought it would be nice and not very crowed. Well, I got smacked it the face with the big boot of reality right away. The mall was packed. I was thankful I decided to use a leash on my 16 pound runner with winged feet. There was so much sparkly tulle and little light sabers that I could have easily lost her in the mix within seconds.
Not only were there hordes of children of all ages but quite a few of them were rude and pushy when it came to getting candy. My little bird boned girl was knocked down a total of three times during the evening by kids two and three times her size. I don’t know where their parents were, they seemed to have none. Each time the offender was gone like a rocket. I doubt they would have gotten away with that in a regular neighborhood. Their parents would have been waiting for them at the end of the walk and seen it. Most parents would have said or done something about the incident.
It seemed, at the time, that people were afraid to be caught disciplining their kids. It still seems that way. Your not going to go to jail if you make a kid appoligize. The world is not going to end if your kids doesn’t think your awesome for a few minutes. Parenting is not a popularity contest. If it is I’m definately losing that crown.
I considered not taking my kids trick or treating this year to avoid the bull that goes with the mall route. I just can’t do it. Mandy had a blast her first time at the mall two years ago, and I know Kieran will as well if he doesn’t scream his head off. I can’t with hold a childhood right of passage like trick or treating even if it’s at the mall. I’m just going to need a little less coffee and a little more “treats” this year. is giving away a Skitter ride on toy. I don’t know about anyone else but it reminds me of The Roller Race Sit Skate. Yep, The good old 80’s have made a comeback somewhere else, only better. You don’t have to be a tiny kid or a contortionist to use the Skitter toy like you did with the Sit Skate. The average adult, up to 150 lbs can use the Skitter and up to 220 lbs with a set of the upgraded wheels. About 80 lbs to go and I can fight with my kids over who gets to ride it at the park. I guess I better get a few so we can all ride together.