Archive for July, 2010

I get inspired to write all the time. I write the most wonderful posts in my head while I’m driving*, cleaning up or changing a diaper. Some times their so funny I nearly piss my pants. Other times their eye watering, poignant. Either way each one is fan-friggen-tastic.

I can’t wait to get on the computer and pound one out**.  I’m practically salivating at the idea of expressing myself as some one other than Mom, Queen of Time Outs and Sippy Cups.

Then shit hits the fan. Literally in some cases.  One second I’m fantasizing about living up to my potential and then some and the next I’m chasing Kieran around with Perry under my arm, a diaper in my hand, the phone pinned between my shoulder and ear and Amanda chasing me, whining requesting yet another outfit change.

Brilliant thoughts? Vanished.

I’ve taken to writing an idea down when I get one. In fact I have a short list sitting on top of my computer right now.

I have no idea where I was heading with those strikes of lightning. They’ll stay right where they are until I get around to throwing them out. Who knows, maybe I’ll remember what I was thinking some time between now and then. 6 months from now if I’m lucky.

PS- Thanks for the inspiration Amy. Your writer’s block was not for naught***.

PPS- While previewing this post. Flock, my browser crashed. Twice.

*When my truck isn’t being possessed by an evil demon that causes the fuel pump to go catatonic with fear.

**Yeah, that sounded dirty to me too.

***Say it with me now, ” Oooh, fancy word”.


A 4 Hour Tour

Posted: Tuesday, July 27, 2010 in Uncategorized

I have a really good sense of direction. It’s like an internal GPS. I just seems to *know* when and where to turn. I’ve never been lost.

Until this past weekend.

This past Saturday I went to a party for my friends upcoming wedding (Congrats Kel & Mike!!!!!!).

Kel & Mike

I have driven that way dozens of times. I know it by heart. I only consulted Mapquest to check up on gas prices. I had the route totally covered.

I am GPS Woman.

Or not.

I missed my exit.

My mom had pointed out that I may be on the wrong road. I wasn’t. I knew that much for sure. That’s when I started to think about the time I went to a banquet in Dickson City with…………… Never mind. That’s how I got lost in the first place.

We were just tooting along, enjoying the ride. The kids had smeared Hostess Snowballs and Devil Dogs all over the backseat. My mom was reading a book. Tom was marveling at the amazing views between power naps. I never realized that the scenery wasn’t what it should be. I was reading names of towns that I had never heard before. I hadn’t even remembered that I was supposed to be on a different highway heading east instead of south.

I was just starting to thing that we should be there by now when my mom mentioned that we “may” have missed our exit.


My poor little brain that was on a happy little vacation dropped it’s drink and panicked. My pride took over. I was sure that we could catch the next highway and head east. I was adamant about it. I have an internal compass, there was no way I was wrong.

A half hour later I couldn’t shake that feeling that we were to far gone.

It’s about time my powers kicked in.

I relented and eventually found the only gas station in the country that doesn’t carry maps. The locals told us to turn around to catch the highway I thought we were heading for once I found out we had passed our first choice. I had passed it by at least an hour.

So much for my superhuman GPS.

We finally arrived to the party,  3 hours late.

Team Irony

Posted: Wednesday, July 7, 2010 in conversation, embarassed, imagination, Marines, quiet, tom

Tom and I are sitting on the couch watching some good old brain melting tv. An Eclipse trailer comes on like it has been every five minutes for the past month. I don’t really pay attention. I know I’m going to watch it despite the previous twos suckage. I read the books and thought they were a good fantasy. (more…)