Archive for March, 2011

Happy Birthday To Me!

Posted: Friday, March 25, 2011 in Uncategorized

My 30th birthday was last week.

I know. RIGHT. I am so awesome.

Tomorrow I get my birthday present. And while there are quite a few thing on my Wishlist, I asked for one thing and one thing alone.

A trip home. By myself.

And would you be shocked that Tom has given me this gift that I so desperately want and need.

Yeah, me too. But I got it anyway.

Tomorrow, sometime before noon, I will depart on my journey to civilization. I have done virtually nothing to prepare for this trip. I washed my “going out” jeans and activated a 4 year old prepaid cell phone. That’s it.

There are tons of stuff I could be doing right now-

  • Running the dishwasher
  • putting away 2 weeks worth of laundry
  • trying to fix my mirror in the cold, dark, scary *insert banjos* night
  • cleaning the kitchen floor
  • labeling the entire house so Tom knows where everything is
  • Printing out a map just in case we have another incident like last year
  • packing a bag for an overnight stay
  • taking a shower


  • I ran across Hell’s Half Acre to go grocery shopping with my sister in displacement, Amy and had a blast acting like I was still 19.
  • Went to Mc Donald’s twice and Taco Bell once
  • Got the kids sugary cereal to eat for breakfast tomorrow ( Hello Cupcake Fruity Pebbles!)
  • Drank Jack and sweet tea while talking on the phone with Kel, The Awesomest. (Who I will see tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
  • Toss M&M’s in the air so my kids could find them all weekend long ( are we seeing a pattern)
  • Tried to fix the mirror in the cold shiny daylight but needed a Wobbler.
  • got a shoulder rub from Tom we the kids almost sent me to the looney bin for the umpteenth time
  • buckled and unbuckled the kids 30 bizzilon times (just once is a work out)
  • drove around with Amy looking at and discussing houses in my new dream neighbor hood (my house was sold by the way)
  • Jumped on the opportunity for a potty break for coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts where the very sweet guys made my coffee perfect and got guilted by my 4 year old. (the girl is good but needs some work)
  • activated my 4 year old prepay cell phone ( I feel so modern)
  • Told my kids “NO” as many time and in as many ways as inhumanly possible

And I am exhausted just typing all of that. And I have a big day tomorrow. I’ll just have to trust that Tom will be as awesome as always and not to forget to feed or diaper. Like I did the other day.

P.S.-Just in case you wanted to know, Perry is not potty trained.

P.P.S.-That was more of a reminder for me than you.


What You Wish For

Posted: Tuesday, March 22, 2011 in Uncategorized

Once upon a time, I wanted to live in the middle of no where. No thing for miles but wilderness.  I wanted to get away from the crush of people moving to northern tip of  New Jersey.

I remember thinking ” How wonderful the solitude would be.”

I needed it at the time, I guess.  I had gone into my most intense social shutdown to date and had to “reboot”. Not that I was every really good at being an outgoing and friendly person. It was a lot of work for me and I have never been good at the work thing either.

But anyway….

I got what I wanted. I am surrounded by miles and miles of farms and fields and trees. And mud.

Yes. Mud.

It’s everywhere. The roads are mud. My driveway is mud. My yard is mud. Hell I even found some in Kierans bed the other night.

Yes, I am sure it was mud.

When I go out, I always look like I don’t do laundry. The bottom of my jeans get muddy walking to the truck. I get a nice healthy schmear on my thigh climbing in the truck to buckle up the kids. Then, of course,  at least one little “angel” puts a foot print on my chest, stomach and/or back. Whatever is handy I guess.  And let’s not forget that some how I get my butt dirty sliding out of the truck.

I tried jumping out. Have you ever jumped into mud from 2 feet in the air? It does not end well.

Once I get home from my excursion (because when you live 20 miles from anything that’s what it is). I have to do the whole thing over again getting bodies out of the truck.

Then we all track my into the house. And I have to say that the only smart thing my landlord has ever done was choose carpet the color of a light and sweet coffee. Or in my case, the color of dried mud.

My kids love the mud. It’s squishy and wet and tastes delicious. Kids should play in the mud. Preferably without eating it.

But I on the other hand, do not. I like being clean. And not having to add to my already endless pile of laundry.

That means more trips, through the mud, to the dryer in the shed. Creating more laundry.

And I want to wear heels again. Not just any heels but something like these

There is a name for this type of shoe

Which is the reason for this entire post.