Archive for the ‘imagination’ Category

It’s true. You learn something new everyday. You just need to look around and pay attention. Or in my case, break your computer.

Here are the top 6 things I’ve learned while I’m on restriction.

  1. If the mechanic tells you the problem is not electrical but your truck magically starts after he checks out the wiring. Get a new mechanic.
  2. Nothing kills sexy time like the hunting channel
  3. Swap shops are like permanent garage sales. You can get rid of your old crap while acquiring new crap to fill the void.
  4. Without the ability to Facebook stalk people, I feel a lot better about my life. Out of sight, out of mind.
  5. It is possible to have 3 young kids and a clean house.
  6. Do NOT read The Lorax to your kids then pick up a gory crime novel for yourself.  It’s like being on an acid trip solely for the written word.  

Everyday is an educational experience. What have you learned today?


I get inspired to write all the time. I write the most wonderful posts in my head while I’m driving*, cleaning up or changing a diaper. Some times their so funny I nearly piss my pants. Other times their eye watering, poignant. Either way each one is fan-friggen-tastic.

I can’t wait to get on the computer and pound one out**.  I’m practically salivating at the idea of expressing myself as some one other than Mom, Queen of Time Outs and Sippy Cups.

Then shit hits the fan. Literally in some cases.  One second I’m fantasizing about living up to my potential and then some and the next I’m chasing Kieran around with Perry under my arm, a diaper in my hand, the phone pinned between my shoulder and ear and Amanda chasing me, whining requesting yet another outfit change.

Brilliant thoughts? Vanished.

I’ve taken to writing an idea down when I get one. In fact I have a short list sitting on top of my computer right now.

I have no idea where I was heading with those strikes of lightning. They’ll stay right where they are until I get around to throwing them out. Who knows, maybe I’ll remember what I was thinking some time between now and then. 6 months from now if I’m lucky.

PS- Thanks for the inspiration Amy. Your writer’s block was not for naught***.

PPS- While previewing this post. Flock, my browser crashed. Twice.

*When my truck isn’t being possessed by an evil demon that causes the fuel pump to go catatonic with fear.

**Yeah, that sounded dirty to me too.

***Say it with me now, ” Oooh, fancy word”.

Team Irony

Posted: Wednesday, July 7, 2010 in conversation, embarassed, imagination, Marines, quiet, tom

Tom and I are sitting on the couch watching some good old brain melting tv. An Eclipse trailer comes on like it has been every five minutes for the past month. I don’t really pay attention. I know I’m going to watch it despite the previous twos suckage. I read the books and thought they were a good fantasy. (more…)

I was all ready to drag myself to bed. I was even so bold as to think about getting a shower. I had it all planned out in my head, right down to check the front door 3-4 times.

I was foiled again.

Amanda has once again woken up to see Tom’s car gone. I’m not sure what runs through her head but it seems a lot like a mix of heartbreak and panic to me. At least 4 times a week I amforced to go through the same schpeil about how “Daddy goes to work after you go to bed and he will be home in the morning to eat breakfast with. Now try to sleep, the sooner you sleep the sooner Daddy will be home.” Then I have to go through the whole “scarey monsters”,” there’s only good and funny monsters and list every monster on Sesame Street I can think of” set of hoops.

I have to do this a couple times each night it happens

Tonight I got smart(ish). I got Amanda a picture of her and Tom and a toy cell phone and told her to look at the picture and call Daddy on her phone to say I love you.

So far only a couple of whimpers and no more outright wailing. I’m still not feeling real hopeful.

Sometimes a girl just needs her Daddy.

Amanda is potty trained. It took a long time to get there. She had a hard time with the whole poop in the potty thing. For months she would flat out refuse, scream and cry  and then have tummy troubles. Eventually she got over it. Sort of.

About once every two weeks we go through the whole ” I have a boo boo in my belly but I won’t go potty” deal. Tonight was shaping up to be one of those nights. While I was busy being the human jungle gym, I noticed a smell that could only come from Amanda’s tush. I naturally ask if she had to go potty to which the answer was a hesitant no. We’ve been down this road a few times already so I know better. I sent her off to the bathroom anyway.

After a few minutes I went to make sure she wasn’t washing her hands in the potty again. I found my poor baby sitting quietly near tears. I hunkered down on the side of the tub and got ready to talk her through another round on the potty.

Amanda- I got boo boo

Me- It won’t hurt if you let the poopy out every day.

Amanda- It go home?

Me- Huh?

Amanda- Poopy go home?

Me- Uhhh… Yeah, Sure! ….Where?

Amanda– In da potty. ( duh mom)

 The child just handed me a ball and my mom brain is screaming at the rest of me to run like Hell with it.

Me- That’s right, baby. You’ve got to let the poopy go home in the potty every day.

Amanda- It go home and see it mommy. It mommy in da potty.

At this point I’m speechless and so is she. I’m in shock and she’s taking care of business. When she’s finished, she jumps up with a big yay, waves bye to her deposit and flushes it home to it’s mommy.

I know this may seem like a silly or even gross thing to talk about but it was big to me. Less than a year ago this would not have been possible. Less than a year ago Amanda barely talked. She had less than 30 words at 2 and a half and didn’t talk in sentences.

Because of this she has been in a special education preschool class since her 3rd birthday. Special education means that I have to have a meeting with her teacher to discuss her IEP (Individualized Education Program) for the next year. I had that meeting with Amanda’s teacher the other day and heard some pretty amazing words from her.

 Try to get Amanda into Headstart next year because this stuff is way to easy for her now.
Mommy guilt was magically lifted and a huge sigh of relief went through me. My little girl is gonna be okay in the smarts department. Not only can she carry an imaginative conversation but she can poop in the potty. At the same time!