Archive for the ‘pants’ Category

Magical

Posted: Wednesday, August 24, 2016 in city hospital, Family, kieran, pants, party

Once upon a time there was a boy who stunk so bad, his mom made him take a shower in a special tub. This very special tub was higher in the air than most tubs and the boy thought this was wonderful but did not realize just how wonderful it really was.

When the show was over the mom told the boy to dry off. The boy, while drying his butt found the tubs truly magical power. It had a mirror directly across from the tub, exactly the right height for the boy to see himself while drying his butt.

This was so amazing to him that he called his mother to see what he had discovered. His mom, not being accustomed to the strange bathroom, peeked in to see what was the young boy had found.

He had found himself and that if he shakes his butt, everything else shakes too.

 

The End

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About a week and a half ago, Perry decided it was time to start standing independently. Yes, a week shy of 8 months and the little future mastermind is standing on her own for a few seconds at a time. The Mommy in me kicks into gear and I decide to try to get a picture of it. I totally wanted to show off my kid and her crazy ambition.

I tried from both couches, the desk chair and standing. No such luck, the camera was just too slow. I am not so easily thwarted by inferior technology. I waited and my patience was rewarded. Or so I thought.

Perry crawled off into Kieran’s room while the other two were occupied with their own mayhem in Amanda’s room. I went after her and hit the floor just out of sight.

This is the picture I got as her tushie landed. Though I didn’t realize it right then, the flash was a rookie mistake. But then again so was getting on the floor.

Amanda and Kieran must have noticed something was afoot because the came out to investigate. I held my breathe as they walked past me a few times. I knew then and there what a precarious situation I was in.

I don’t know about any other kids but mine can smell fear. At any moment they could smell it on me and turn. They’ve done it before at different times. I knew this could be one of those times.

I relaxed as they walked back and forth between the bedrooms. A little too relaxed. It must have been the lack of oxygen while I was holding my breathe because I thought it would be a good idea to start taking pictures again.

Suddenly the camera gave me a hard time and I couldn’t get a shot off until

Amanda jumped from behind the corner and screamed and I screamed and the camera went off and I knew I was in for a shit storm. I was pinned between the wall and the door jamb when they swarmed. I did the only thing I could. Brace myself and keep snapping pictures. This is how it went down………………….

The ambush was successful
Kieran ran from the living room armed
You really stepped in it this time Mom

I’m surprised I actually got a decent picture

I was laughing too hard to even realize I had pushed the button
I don’t know where she pulled this move from
Quick conference so I can breathe and they can plot.
Just you wait, mommy

Are you okay ?
She’s good. GO GO GO!!!!
Please don’t let farting be apart of the plan. Kieran has wicked sewer butt.
Amanda trying to blow raspberries on my belly
Kieran trying to give me a kiss and me using the camera as a defense
Bad defense. Kieran was successful

 Actually Kieran not only made contact, he actually licked the side of my face and across my mouth while Amanda blew raspberries on whatever she could make contact with and Perry had a hold of my foot.

I lost it. Literally. I couldn’t breathe I was laughing so hard and I pissed myself. I didn’t just let a little tinkle out. I full blown lost control of my bladder. I was defeated.

I had to call for help. I yelled out no less than three times before I had to add that I was serious and Tom peeled my captors off of me. And yes he noticed my pants.

I changed, came back and put the kids to bed without any trouble from at all.

I’m beginning to think they set me up.