Archive for the ‘train of thought’ Category

I feel like I lost one of my own tonight. One of my tribe laid down his arms and said “Enough.”

Enough of the hiding. Hiding your pain. Hiding your face. Hiding your scars and your wounds. Hiding from the beasts and demons you carry with you. Hiding from reality and hiding from fantasy.

Enough.

Enough of the lying. Lying to them, to you, to us, to all. Lying in wait for the next wave to come.

Enough.

It’s such a simple word, it’s easily understood with nothing more than a simple gesture.

But, it’s impact is great.

Some say “Enough” and stand up. Some say “Enough” and lie down.

Either way, nothing is ever the same.

 

The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is: 800-273-8255

For phone-phobics

bandbacktogether.com/resources

 

 

 

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I don’t know where I saw this first but a couple of blogs that I read had posted 100 things about themselves. All I could think was me too, me too. It took me a few days but I got it done.

Hop on board!
  1.  I told a teacher, in a fit of preteen angst that I would be a published writer. In this case, blogs count.( I told you so Mrs. Salerno).
  2.  I keep blowing bubbles long after my kids have lost interest.
  3. I have to sleep with my feet covered. Tom has to sleep with his feet uncovered. Something I should have thought about before committing to a life with him.
  4. I hate talking on the phone.
  5. I still miss my first car. She had soul. R.I.P Suzzy.
  6. I haven’t started exercising yet. I haven’t figured out the when.
  7. It takes me all week to finish the laundry, sometimes more.
  8. Time management is not my strong suit.
  9. I got a D in Freshman seminar because of that. 
  10. I was also too cocky to do the work.
  11. I dropped out of community college after one semester.
  12. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
  13. I see a lot of me in Amanda.
  14. That scares the crap out of me.
  15. I used to get lost in daydreams at school.
  16. I still get lost in daydreams.
  17. I will write a cheesy romance novel someday.
  18. I will use a pseudonym when I publish that novel.
  19. I’ll make it a series.
  20. It will be the next twilight. with out the vampires and werewolves.
  21. I love cars.
  22. I miss going to the racetrack sometimes.
  23. I hated the track near the end of my time there.
  24. I’ve never lived alone.
  25. That really annoys me about myself.
  26. I am not afraid to die.
  27. I am afraid of what my death will mean for my loved ones.
  28. I hurt when other people hurt.
  29. I am easily influenced by others.
  30. I would never call myself a leader.
  31. I call myself a mom instead.
  32. I never wanted kids.
  33. I can’t imagine my life without them
  34. I don’t want to imagine my life without them.
  35. I own 1 bra
  36. I own 1 pair of jeans
  37. I wouldn’t buy more of either even if I had the money.
  38. Buying new clothes for me is depressing.
  39. I never seem to like what is practical.
  40. I fall in love with the impractical. i.e.- hot pink oxford button down shirt, navy blue pencil skirt w/a slit up the back and navy pumps with hot pink trim.
  41. I would sink in the mud if I set foot outside in heels.
  42. I would never get Amanda out of those heels in the first place.
  43. I love shoes.
  44. I love boots most of all.
  45. my calves are too fat for most boots.
  46. I really need to start some yoga
  47. I want a yoga ball
  48. I won’t buy a yoga ball
  49. I’ll pop said yoga ball
  50. I wonder if there are any industrial strength yoga balls out there?
  51. HeHe…I said “balls”
  52. I’m easily amused.
  53. I have the urge to go wake Tom up.
  54. I make things complicated for my friends. (Sorry Amy)
  55. I’m not going to wake Tom up. He has to be to work at 3 am
  56. Happy, happy overtime! Happy, Happy overtime! 
  57. I tend to break out in song and sometimes dance.
  58. Yes, I am a Gleek and proud of it.
  59. I used to dance and sing in the Sussex NJ A&P late at night/ early morning
  60. I still do a little jig every now and again if I’m feeling froggy
  61. When I’m really feeling my Cheerios, I turn my kitchen floor into a stage and put on concerts for my kids.
  62. There is a lot of audience participation involved.
  63. I get winded too quickly and have to cancel my shows half way through.
  64. I get hounded by the paparazzi to do more.
  65. I sing from the desk chair.
  66. They can’t swarm me if I’m in my chair.
  67. I love to bake.
  68. My favorite thing to bake are pies.
  69.  I use a cook book from the 1930’s for my pie crust recipies
  70. I love old cookbooks
  71. I really don’t like regular cooking
  72. I would use my crock pot everyday if it wasn’t such a bitch to clean
  73. The wind scares me
  74. The wind never scared me until I lived in a trailer.
  75. I’m afraid that it’s going to blow away and break in two
  76. I know my fear is irrational
  77. That doesn’t make me feel any better.
  78. I’m scared of driving over bridges too.
  79. I’m afraid  that I’ll go over the edge, into water below.
  80. I know that’s irrational too
  81. I forgot to pay a speeding ticket once. The transmission blew the day after I got the ticket and I left the ticket in the junked car.
  82. My license was suspended 3 years later.
  83. I didn’t know my license was suspended.
  84. I got pulled over for speeding again 4 years and 3 states later.
  85. I was arrested for driving with a suspended license.
  86. I was never so scared in my life.
  87. My in-laws loaned Tom the money to bail me out of county jail.
  88. We didn’t have the money to bail me out because Tom had bought a new gun the week before.
  89. I made Tom sell that gun when we needed money a year later.
  90. I don’t see the point in owning more than one gun if any.
  91. Tom is a hunter, he sees the point in owning at least one gun.
  92. Tom only has one gun.
  93. I would like it to stay that way.
  94. I think there are better things to invest our money in.
  95. I’ve never been on a family vacation
  96. I’m hoping to pull one off next year
  97. Everyone else seems to go to Outer Banks, NC. I wanna go too.
  98. I refuse to go camping.
  99. I don’t potty without a potty.
  100. I will roast marshmallows in the front yard though.

Thank you for riding Sarah’s train of thought. Please stay seated until the train has come to a complete stop. In case of an emergency ( or any normal day) and the train does stop, tuck and roll.